Arranged marriage is a marriage between two compliant individuals who were matched by an outside party such as their parental guardians or a matchmaker. There have been a lot of negative beliefs on arrange marriage, generally confusing this custom with forced marriage. Forced marriage is a marriage between a couple without their consent or against their will. In either case, both arranged and forced marriage have been prevalent in traditional values in countries such as Asia, Middle-East, Africa, Europe and especially countries with families of royalty or high status. This is to ensure a sense of security for the future generations of both parties. This can be established in the form of a higher rank, gain a worthy successor, or social acceptance. The practice of arranged marriage is both regarded as either widely revered or widely distasteful. This practice has been widely revered because of “shotgun” wedding, where the father of the bride figuratively (or literally) holds a gun to the man’s head in order to coax him to marry his pregnant daughter (Wikipedia). This is believed to be the most appropriate response for an arranged marriage to continue because an unwed mother is unfit to become a parent without a stable father figure for the child. Arranged marriages can also sustain the bloodline of royalty, therefore even babies or toddlers are already paired off with their perspective spouses until they come of appropriate age of marriage. There is also the aspect of earning a higher status in either title or honor within a social group. The parties that are involved in this issue are the couples that are currently awaiting marriage and the wishes of the parental groups. In the parental perspective, it can be argued that the parents know their children best and have the “wisdom to select the best candidate” (Professor House) in which the partnership through marriage “will benefit from the support and encouragement of elders” (Professor House) therefore assuring stability and permanence. Not all arranged marriages have to be in a form where both individuals do not infuse courtships in order to get better acquainted with their prospective partners. Some courtships are allowed by certain cultures such as modern day India. It is also highly encouraged for Muslim religions to have the couple “see each other” before marriage but there are still restrictions were the couple “must never be left alone, unsupervised”. Most cultures that practice this tradition do not allow courtship such as areas in China and Indonesia, in which the predominant religions are Buddhism, Islam and Hinduism, where the couple would only meet for fifteen minutes and then be wed in months. It is also important to note that parents, especially in Cambodia, are expected to have the “sacred duty to marry off their children to good families”(Professor House).
The concept of arranged marriage has survived due to the “pervasive influence of religion and tradition”. As Cambodian parents are expected to marry their children off, the children are expected to repay their gratitude by “fulfilling one’s marital obligation” (Savage). Due to the popularity of arranged marriages in rural parts of China, the Chinese government has introduced a Marriage Law in 1980 allowing women to be 20 years old and men to be 22 years of age for legal marriage. In Japan, when a woman has reached 25 years of age, she and her family compile a” packet of information regarding her family background, hobbies, education and a photograph of the bride in a kimono to “properly inquire among friends and acquaintances for a suitable spouse”(Savage). In the case of suitability does not regard the bond between the couple. The most important goal, rather, is the bond between two families where the sealing of the marriage agreement would be the aim of acquiring property and social status. Obviously there are still some doubts about this practice such as the longevity as well the actual bond between the couple. In such cases, the effects of arranged marriage usually tends to be affected most by the bride, where she would “often give up her career and family in order to take care of her husband’s family and children” (Shaadi). Therefore, arranged marriages tend to favor in the issue regarding paternalism, dominant group exercises almost absolute control over the subordinate group and can direct virtually unlimited coercion to maintain societal order. Women in the earlier ages would even burn themselves at their husband’s funeral in order to show solidarity and devotion to their husband. It is also evident in Japan, in which the female creates a packet in order to have suitable potential families looking for qualities in accordance of the son’s family’s interests. Some interests include occupational mobility, the ability of individuals to improve their job position. For example, a large business company has a CEO with a daughter who is engaged to be wed to a prominent medical institution’s chief doctor’s son. Both parties gain occupational mobility because the business company can work together with the medical institution to further the interest of their clients as well as broaden their consumer population. A New York Times journalist had undergone an arranged marriage where he met his wife through endogamy, marry within their group either because it is their own choice or social isolation or necessity. His mother established their arranged marriage, where his wife regards the truth on how their sons have to learn how to clean up after themselves in order to find suitable wives while the writer had his mother pick a wife for him so he does not have to cook and clean. This is a form of cultural diffusion, cultures inevitably affected by other cultures. The writer now lives in London with his family and he hopes that the boys “have many girlfriends through their teenage years and play the field through their 20s before they each settle down with a wonderful woman”. Clearly, the values, socially shared conceptions of what is good, desirable, and proper or bad, undesirable and proper, in India 20 years ago differs from modern day London. I’m sure that the parents would advocate the interests of their sons in order to find suitable wives through an arranged marriage, but those boys will grow to learn that there is an option other than their native customs. If they were to submit into arranged marriage, it would be considered a persistent subculture, unassimilated subculture that adhere as much as possible to their own way of life and resist absorption into the dominant culture. There are some arranged marriages occurring in the Western part of the world as well. This can be particular with families that believe in Social identity theory, in-group members think of their group better than out-groups because enhances their own social status or social identity and raises self-image. Therefore, those who are part of the elite group of people such as those of upper-class rank would want to sustain or improve their finances rather than decreasing it.
I think that arranged marriage is included in interactionist theory, which examines the microsocial worls of personal interaction patterns in everyday life rather than the macrosocial aspects of social institutions and their harmony or conflict. Interactionist theory is helpful in understanding some of the false perceptions that occur in dominant majority relations. With that in mind, people should perhaps consider the customs of the cultures that practice arranged marriage. Western influence might be against this, considering the interests of ‘love before marriage’ but there can also be ‘marriage before love’. I’ve seen numerous ‘reality shows’ where people would switch places with another and experience a different perspective and treatment from others. If people are more knowledgeable about arranged marriage, it would not be perceived as negative where their partnership is not primarily based on love but on convenience. It might be interesting to note that in other countries, they believe the general custom of constantly dating before finally settling down with “the one” is absurd and that one is wasting time during their courtships and less time providing the family with children. I’ve considered arranged marriage to be a positive practice. Not only does it sustain the interests of both individuals’ parents, but I know that perhaps someday I will be able to choose a suitable wife or son for my children. It goes with the aspect of ‘respect for elders’. Not too long ago, children were beaten up by their parents in order to sustain respect in which the children would start the cycle again with their children etc. Although arranged marriage, to me, seems like an adventure (despite its safety) some people consider it too traditional in such a modern age. But I think that it would halt some of the problems in society such as domestic violence, crime, illiteracy, poverty, and drug and alcohol addictions, since the parents have approved of each other’s children in that they complement each other and should start a life of happiness without these negative distractions.
Sources
Ayushveda, Health Style < http://www.ayushveda.com/magazine/arranged-marriages-past-and-present/>
Associated Content < http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/787875/the_history_of_arranged_marriages_in_pg2.html?cat=9>
Professor House < http://www.professorshouse.com/family/relationships/arranged-marriage-facts.aspx>
Savage, Lacey. Ezine articles. The reality of arranged marriages. < http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Reality-of-Arranged-Marriages&id=606>
Shaadi < http://www.bhavakuta.com/india/indian-arranged-marriages/index.html>
Stritof, www.about.com, < http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/787875/the_history_of_arranged_marriages_in_pg2.html?cat=9>
Wikipedia . Arrranged Marriage. 5 June 2009< http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage>
Zama, Farahad. The New York Times. First Comes Marriage <http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/07/fashion/07love.html?_r=1>
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